Don't hang up on the telemarketing Captain - Keep him on the phone as long as you can
Getting telemarketing calls from the Captain, from the fake Windows security experts who've tracked a virus to my computer, for whatever...the worst thing you can possibly do is hang up quickly or drive them off the phone with your obvious annoyance.
That's what they want you to do.
What?
Yep. If you're a NO, the sooner they can get you off the phone and move to another potential sucker, the better. And your number stays in their database as a possible. At least they know your number works and that a human will answer. Suppose they might sell that to another online phone scammer? Um, yeah.
So what's a person to do?
It's both counter intuitive and simple: KEEP THEM ON THE LINE AS LONG AS YOU CAN.
The longer the better. I've managed just over 20 minutes with more than one poor slob who thought he had a live one.
How?
By asking a lot of questions. By asking of they can hang on while I answer the other line / look for my wallet / answer the door / have a fake coughing fit / go off on some tangent / begin to display my dementia...whatever it takes.
Remember the line "Don't get mad, get even!"? Now's your chance.
It's their worst nightmare - a seemingly hot prospect that's nothing but a tease.
Sure, you'll have to do it a few times. But in my experience, the calls start to drop off pretty quickly when they figure out 1) you're not a dupe, 2) you're prepared to act like one, and 3) this is a lousy number to call because you never says YES but also never say NO.
It's been so much fun that unless I'm under some sort of deadline, or in a meeting, whenever I get a (rare) telemarketing call these days, I usually ask them to hold on one second while I get rid of my current phone caller - giving me enough time to pour a fresh cup of tea - and have some fun picking off their wings.
-g
